Altar Call – Opelika-Auburn News
Walter Albritton
January 9, 2011
Camping
out is not one of my favorite things
There seems to be an instinctive
desire in the human spirit to go camping. Such a craving should not surprise us
since our early ancestors slept on the ground in caves.
Ever
wonder what life was like back then? Well let me tell you. I can hear Cave Man
Walter and Cave Woman Dean talking. Cave Woman says, “Need firewood; Cave Woman
cannot cook rabbit without firewood.”
Cave
Man Walter replies, “Cave Man watching ballgame; you go get firewood and don’t
burn that rabbit like you did the last one.”
Cave
Woman says sharply, “I am sick and tired of seeing you stretched out on that
log watching those roly polys push that ball around! Get up off your rear end and go get me some
wood for this fire!”
Cave
Man growls back, “Woman, do you want me to drag you by your hair out yonder and
make you bring in some wood?”
Cave
Woman snarls in response, “I told you the last time you grabbed my hair that if
you ever did it again that you had better never go to sleep again because I
will take this club and drill this sharp bone between your squinty little
eyes!”
On
a roll now, she continues without taking a breath, “And that’s not all, big
boy, from now on, you can take the garbage out as well as bring in the
firewood. Cooking and taking care of these young-uns is all I plan to do,
whether you like it or not!”
Having
said that, she grabbed Cave Man Walter’s favorite club and stepped menacingly
toward him. The fire in her eyes convinced Cave Man that he had better move.
Realizing
that he was no match for the Tiger his sweet mate had become, Cave Man Walter
rolled over and went after more firewood. He mumbled as he walked out, “The
preacher told me I was the spiritual leader of my family but instead I have to
bring in firewood.”
I
understand how my dear old ancestor felt. When our boys were growing up my wife
thought I should take the family camping. I felt no such inclination. I had
never been a Boy Scout. My father never took me camping, so I knew nothing
about the art of sleeping in the woods.
However, like her ancestor, Dean would not take no for an answer.
So,
reluctantly, I bought a tent from Sears for two hundred dollars, along with
some camping utensils and sleeping bags. We went to the woods. There I learned
firsthand that I would not have enjoyed being a cave man.
I
lost what little religion I had trying to set up the tent. I had no idea how to
do it even though fathers are expected to know everything. The boys were too
young to be of much help. I could tell by the bewildering look on their faces
that they could not believe their daddy did not know how to put up a tent. It
was one of those shocking moments when they began to realize that daddy was not
Superman.
We
burned most of the food we brought along, and what we did eat had sand in it.
The coffee was awful, nothing like it appears to taste when the cowboys drink
it on the trail in the movies. We thanked God for crackers and summer sausage; without
them we would have starved.
A
few years later, when the boys were in their teens, Mark and his friends
pitched our tent for a night out on the
Cave
Woman and I are too old to camp out now. And that is just as well. For my
money, the best campsite is an air-conditioned room in a nice motel. If you
enjoy camping, please enjoy yourself. Have fun, but tell Tom to leave the light
on for me.
But
some things never change. When we are at home in the winter I still have to
bring in the firewood. That is the price I pay to sleep without fear that Cave
Woman will do something nasty with her club. + + +
Commentary
on Selected Passages in Paul's Letters: Searching the Scriptures for Grace and
Guidance
List Price: $12.00
7.5" x
9.25" (19.05 x 23.495 cm)
Black & White on White paper
200 pages
ISBN-13: 978-1453870204
ISBN-10: 1453870202
BISAC: Religion / Biblical Commentary / New Testament
This
is the second volume of Walter Albritton's commentaries on the Holy Scriptures.
The first was titled Commentary On the Four Gospels. These commentaries,
originally prepared to be used with Sunday School lessons, have been revised
and updated to help the reader discover valuable insights into the living Word.
Books
may be purchased from Amazon.com or
autographed copies may be obtained from the author at 289 Leigh Lane, Wetumpka,
AL 36093.