Altar Call - Opelika-Auburn News
February 8, 2009
Life would be impossible
without balcony people
A little 70-page paperback changed my life. The book is
titled Balcony People, written by
Joyce Landorf Heatherley and published in 1995.
It was a gift from longtime
friends Grady and Celestra Rowell who live today on
Heatherley’s book provided a breakthrough for me, giving me
a new understanding of how to cope maturely with my relationships, the good and
the bad. Some people drive me nuts. Others joyfully energize me. Heatherley
showed me a brilliant way to relate to all the people who influence my life now
or who have influenced me in the past.
She begins with the assertion that there are only two types
of people in the world – the evaluators and the affirmers. The negative
comments of our evaluators bother us all. And we tend to pay more attention to
the harmful remarks of evaluators than the positive words of our affirmers.
However we have a choice about evaluators. We can choose to
keep their judgmental opinions in the past even if the past is just yesterday!
We can “replay” harmful remarks or we can bury them and move on.
The key is to focus today, right now, on the affirmers who
are encouraging us to reach our potential. Though our affirmers may be few, one
can make all the difference for, as Heatherley says, “One affirmer is worth a
thousand evaluators.” The affirmers help us to embrace the truth about
ourselves so that we can overcome our past and become all that we can be.
Heatherley (and other writers) help us enormously by
calling the affirmers “balcony people” and the evaluators “basement people.” I
love the picture those words create! The affirmers are in our balcony cheering
us on; the evaluators are our basement screaming that we are going to fail.
Life is not easy. Some nights are cold and lonely. We are
pressured on all sides. We begin to doubt ourselves. But one balcony person can
appear and we are suddenly able to walk on.
Balcony
people are necessary because those negative basement people are always present.
The terms are transparent. Balcony people are "up," and basement
people are "down." The implication is clear. Balcony people pull us
upward; basement people pull us downward.
Basement people may be from our past or our
present. They may be dead or alive. Their influence is always negative. They
are the people who constantly offer criticism. What they call constructive
criticism is actually destructive criticism that drags us down.
Memories
of basement people reside in the murky water of our subconscious minds. Their
words stay with us and haunt us. Here is an example. Your daddy (or your
mother) spoke angrily when you were a child: "You’re so stupid you will
never amount to anything!" As you grow older the memory of those words
becomes a scream from the basement that robs you of self-confidence.
Balcony
people, on the other hand, exert a positive influence on your thinking. They write you a note complimenting you on a
job well done or offer words of praise that encourage you to believe in
yourself.
The
word "balcony" conveys the beautiful idea that these persons are
above us, leaning over the balcony of life to cheer us on. Their characteristic
phrase is "You can do it." Without them few of us can ever do our best at
anything.
The
daily challenge is to pay little attention to your basement people and keep
your focus on the cheerleaders in your balcony. Tell the basement people that you do not
intend to let them rain on your parade any longer.
Give thanks for your balcony people. Listen
to them and let their encouragement buoy your spirit. Think how blessed you are
to have even a few balcony people pulling for you.
These
days I feel so deeply blessed by the balcony people in my life that I can
hardly hear what my basement people are saying. They may be screaming but I am
not listening. I am too busy thanking God for my precious balcony people – and
looking for ways to be a cheerleader in the balcony of those who need me. + + +